It seems to me that she was his partner in life. Observe the humility of Paul; he both joins Timothy with him in his request, and asks not only the husband, but the wife also, and some one else, perhaps a friend.
Not wishing to effect such things by command, and not taking it ill, if he did not immediately comply with his request; but he begs them to do what a stranger might have done to aid his request. For not only the being requested by many, but the petition being urged to many, contributes to its being granted. And on this account he says, "And Archippus our fellow-soldier." If thou art a fellow-soldier, thou oughtest also to take a concern in these things. But this is the Archippus, about whom he says in his Epistle to the Colossians, "Say to Archippus, Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou fulfill it." (Col. iv. 17.) It seems to me too, that he, whom he joins with him in this request, was also one of the Clergy. And he calls him his fellow-soldier, that he may by all means cooperate with him.
Here he has not omitted even the slaves. For he knew that often even the words of slaves have power to overthrow their master; and more especially when his request was in behalf of a slave. And perhaps it was they particularly who exasperated him. He does not suffer them therefore to fall into envy, having honored them by including them in a salutation with their masters. And neither does he allow the master to take offense. For if he had made mention of them by name, perhaps he would have been angry. And if he had not mentioned them at all, he might have been displeased. Observe therefore how prudently he has found a way by his manner of mentioning them, both to honor them by his mention of them, and not to wound him. For the name of the "Church" does not suffer masters to be angry, even though they are reckoned together with their servants. For the Church knows not the distinction of master and servant. By good actions and by sins she defines the one and the other. If then it is a Church, be not displeased that thy slave is saluted with thee. "For in Christ Jesus there is neither bond nor free." (Gal. iii. 28.)
"Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ, and Timothy our brother, to Philemon our dear fellow worker, to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ." However, it pleased me to dictate to you in a somewhat different and disordered order the Epistles of Paul; for although you frequently asked me, Paula and Eustochium, to do so, and I earnestly refused to comply, at least as far as arranging them in the order of verses which seemed to you the best in sense and arrangement, you nevertheless compelled me to do so. Therefore I will attempt to start at the beginning of the matter, and am compelled to deal now with a question which another Apostle asked in his opening, "Why, or at what time, or by whom, the name of Saul was changed to Paul," although, as they say, not even a "mu" dared to be added to it before this day. Nor indeed is it to be thought, as is read by the simpler Latinists, that "Saulum" was said before, and not "Saul": because he was also from the tribe of Benjamin, in which this name was more common. For even that Saul, the king of Judaea, who persecuted David, was from the tribe of Benjamin. But that Saulus is said by us, it is not strange that Hebrew names are declined according to the likeness of Greek and Roman cases, so that just as for Joseph, Josephus: for Jacob, Jacobus; so for Saul also, Saulus is said in our language and speech. Therefore it is asked why, or by whose order, either the ancient name was lost or a new one was adopted. It was by God's command that Abram was called Abraham (Gen. 17, etc.); and similarly, it was by God's command that the name of Sarai was changed to Sarah. And to take an example from the New Testament, Simon received the name "Peter" (Mark 3); and by the voice of our Lord Jesus Christ the sons of Zebedee were called Boanerges, that is, "sons of thunder" (ibid.). But why Saul was called Paul, no scripture mentions. Therefore, boldly I will do it, but perhaps confirming my suspicions about the Acts of the Apostles. We read in them, that the Holy Spirit said at Antioch: "Separate for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them." Then, after fasting and praying, and laying their hands upon them, they sent them away (Acts 13:3). And when they had come down to Seleucia, they sailed to Cyprus and reached Salamis, and they had John to assist them in their ministry. They traveled and preached throughout the whole island until they reached Paphos, where they met a certain magician named Bar-jesus (or Elymas), who was with the proconsul, Sergius Paulus, a man of intelligence. And when Barnabas and Saul (who is also called Paul) had come to them, he desired to hear the word of God. But Elymas the sorcerer (for so his name is translated) withstood them, seeking to turn the proconsul away from the faith. Then Saul, who also is called Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit, looked intently at him and said, "O full of all deceit and all fraud, you son of the devil, you enemy of all righteousness, will you not cease perverting the straight ways of the Lord? And now, indeed, the hand of the Lord is upon you, and you shall be blind, not seeing the sun for a time." And immediately a dark mist fell on him, and he went around seeking someone to lead him by the hand. Then the proconsul, when he saw what had happened, believed, marveling at the teaching of the Lord. And when Paul and those with him had sailed from Paphos, they came to Perga in Pamphylia. "Pay close attention to the fact that Paul receives his name here for the first time. For just as Scipio, after Africa was subdued, assumed the name Africanus for himself; and Metellus, after the island of Crete was conquered, brought back the insignia of Creticus to his family; and now the Roman emperors are named from conquered peoples, Adiabenici, Parthici, Sarmatici, so also Saul, sent to preach to the gentiles, brought back trophies of his victory from the spoils of the Church to the proconsul, Sergius Paulus, and raised the banner so that he should be called Paul from Saul. But if the interpretation of the name is sought, "Paul" in Hebrew means "wonderful". Truly wonderful, that after "Saul," which means "desirable," he who had been requested by the devil to persecute the Church, would become a vessel of election as a persecutor. It was perhaps more than necessary to dispute this, but necessary. However, the phrase "a prisoner of Jesus Christ" was not used with this cognomen in any Epistle, although in the body of the Epistles, namely to the Ephesians, and the Philippians and Colossians, he testifies that he is in chains for the sake of his confession. But it seems to me that it is more of an arrogance to say that one is a prisoner of Jesus Christ than an Apostle. The apostles were proud to suffer disgrace for the name of Jesus Christ (Acts 5:41), but a more authoritative chains was necessary. He who was to ask for Onesimus ought to pray in such a way that he could obtain what he asked. Fortunate indeed is he who does not boast in wisdom, riches, eloquence, or secular power, but in the sufferings of Christ. Concluding in this manner his discourse to the Galatians: "Henceforth, let no man give me trouble: for I bear the marks of the Lord Jesus in my body" (Galatians 6). Not every one that is bound is bound for Christ; but whosoever is overcome for Christ's name and confession, he is truly said to be bound of Jesus Christ, and only he is a martyr, who sheds his blood for Christ's name. Therefore, while imprisoned in Rome, he writes to Philemon, at which time I seem to myself to have been written to the Philippians, Colossians, and Ephesians. This is due to the fact that, firstly, he writes with only Timothy, which he also does in this epistle. Then because of his chains, manifestly declared to be for Christ, throughout the whole of the Praetorium. But the Praetorium itself he indicates at the end of the Epistle, saying, “All the saints salute you, especially they that are of Caesar’s household.” Sent by Caesar to prison, in becoming better known to his [Caesar’s] family, he found their house the Church. Then he proceeds: “Some indeed preach Christ out of contention, not sincerely, supposing that they raise up affliction for my bonds” [Philippians 1:17] . Moreover, at the beginning of his Epistle to the Colossians, he speaks to the same effect: “Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother.” And in the sequel: “Whose head I am Paul, a minister: who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up those things that are wanting of the afflictions of Christ, in my flesh, for his body, which is the Church” [Colossians 1:2, 23, 24]. And in the end: "The salutation of me Paul with my own hand. Be mindful of my chains" (Col. 4:18). This is so that we know that these Epistles were also written from prison and while in chains. However, what is specifically for the Colossians is that the same Onesimus, who is now commended to Philemon, was also the bearer of the same message. Finally, he says: "All my affairs Tychicus, my beloved brother, and faithful minister, and fellow-servant in the Lord, will make known to you, whom I have sent to you for this very purpose, that you may know our affairs, and that he may comfort your hearts, together with Onesimus, most dear and faithful brother, who is one of you" (Ibid., 7, 8). But if Philemon, to whom this letter is written, is the master of Onesimus, in fact, he has begun to be a brother in the Lord, and it is reported to the Colossians that Onesimus is one of them: the very reason and order leads us to deduce that Philemon is also from Colossae, and at that time Onesimus carried a letter to every church, common and commendable, which he had taken to the Lord. There is also another indication, which Archippus is named in this same letter: to whom he writes along with Philemon: "Say," he says, "to Archippus, consider the ministry that you received from the Lord, that you may fulfill it." What is the ministry that Archippus received from the Lord? We read to Philemon: "And to Archippus, our fellow soldier, and to the church that is in your house." From which I think he was either the bishop of the Colossian Church, who was admonished to diligently and carefully preside, as a preacher of the Gospel. But if it is not so, what suffices for me at present is that both Philemon and Archippus and Onesimus himself, who brought the letter, were Colossians and that at the same time four (as we have said before) letters were written. But to the Ephesians, for this reason also, that he declares himself here to be bound for Christ and the same things that he had ordered to the Colossians, he orders in this epistle that wives be subject to their husbands, and husbands love their wives, that children obey their parents, that fathers not provoke their sons to anger, that servants obey their carnal masters, that masters, leaving threats aside, offer to their servants what is just: and at the end of his epistle he concludes with this purpose: "What I am doing, Tychicus, the beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord, will make known to you: whom I have sent to you for this very thing, that you may know what is about me, and that he may comfort your hearts." But Tychicus is the same one who is sent to the Colossians with Onesimus, and at that time he had Onesimus as a companion when he was carrying letters to Philemon.
"And Timothy, a brother." In other letters, Sosthenes and Silvanus are sometimes mentioned, along with Timothy as a brother (the "Al. tacet" brother). Only in four [letters] is Timothy mentioned because they were dictated either at the same time, or in the presence of Timothy and the others. I think this was done for two reasons: so that the letter would have greater authority, since it was not written by one person alone; and because there was no rivalry among the apostles. If anything had been suggested to Paul's spirit while he was dictating, he added it to the letters without any sadness. This is in accordance with what he himself commanded the Corinthians, that if something was revealed to another prophet while another was prophesying, the first should keep silent. (1 Cor. 14). Thus he himself also fulfilled his own precept by his work, and because of the few things which he had added to another's letter, as his own suggestion, so too he composed an epistle to another. "To Philemon," he says, "beloved." In Greek ἠγαπημένω is not used, which means "beloved," but rather ἀγαπητῶ, which means "dear." Truly, there is a difference between "beloved" and "dear," in that the former can be called so even if he does not merit the affection, but dear only is he who is loved deservedly. Finally, we are commanded to love even our enemies, who may be beloved but not dear. In fact, we love those, not because they deserve to be loved, but because we are commanded not to hate them. That which is noted in the title of the forty-fourth psalm, "for the beloved," has a better reading in Greek, "for the dear one," which passage is most clearly understood of Christ. For although the Jews may think that Solomon is called "beloved of God," because God has imposed upon him the name on account of his wisdom; nevertheless, who else can be called "beloved of God," unless the One whom the Father speaks about in the Gospel: "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased, hear him"; and finally, in Isaiah it is written like this: "I will sing a song to my beloved concerning the beloved of my vineyard. The vineyard of the Lord Almighty is the house of Israel, and the men of Judah are the garden of his delight" and thinking that this is to be received from the Jewish people according to circumcision, they stumble upon the rock of offense and the stone of scandal, not recognizing that the vineyard which was transplanted from Egypt is the house of Israel, and that Christ is called either beloved or dearly beloved here, while he himself deserves to be loved by the saints and the saints love him, offering him more charity than they demand any other rewards of charity. Therefore, Paul and Timothy write to Philemon, beloved and coworker, who was for this reason called beloved because he is engaged in the same work of Christ. Also to Apphia, the sister, not having anything false or imaginary in herself, and to Archippus, a fellow soldier whom I believe, along with Paul and Timothy, stood as a victorious opponent for Christ's name against adversaries and for this reason is now called a fellow soldier because he triumphed in the same battle and war. It is also written to the church that is in his house. But this [is] uncertain, whether [it refers to] the church which is in the house of Archippus, or [that] which is in the house of Philemon. But to me it seems that the person, to whom this letter is also addressed, should be referred not to Archippus, but to Philemon. For although Paul and Timothy jointly write to Philemon, Apphia, Archippus, and [the] church, yet in the following [part] it is [only] approved that only Paul write to Philemon, and speak of one with another. "I give thanks to my God always", "[and] making mention of thee." And you will find this way of writing in some of his letters: that although many [people] are introduced and mentioned in the preface, [only] one person, arguing, is [mentioned] throughout the whole body of the Epistle. That which the Apostle says when writing to the Galatians: that in Christ's faith there is no difference between a Gentile or a Jew, a man or a woman, a slave or a free man (Gal. 3:28): even in this place it is clear. For between two men and apostles, between Paul's co-worker and his comrade, the name of Apphia is inserted: in such a way that supported by such a company on both sides, it does not seem to indicate the order of sex but of merit. But the expression, "Grace be to you, and peace from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ," is still written to many by two, and in almost all the Epistles, its beginning is the same, so that grace and peace may be invoked upon them from God the Father and Christ the Lord. From which it is shown that there is one nature of the Son and the Father, since the Son can do what the Father can, and it is said that the Father can do what the Son can. Grace, however, is by which we are saved without any merit or work. Peace, by which we are reconciled to God through Christ, as it says: "We beseech for Christ, be reconciled to God" (2 Cor. 5:20).
Paul makes a point of greeting Philemon and Apphia equally. He wishes to indicate thereby that in no way is there a difference of faith or strength of faith between men and women.
While keeping the social order here, Paul does not call some indiscriminate multitude “the church,” but only those who are bound together in faith. This bond sets the frame for Paul’s appeal in the letter.
He did not start off immediately by asking for grace, but he started off by admiring and applauding the man for his excellent love, and to praise him for his faith in the Lord, and also the other generous saints.
"and to Apphia our beloved, and Archippus". Perhaps Apphia was the wife of Philemon, and Archippus. But see the humility, for it also urges these to join in the supplication.
"our fellow soldier". If a fellow soldier, he also struggles in this. This is the one about whom he writes to the Colossians: Tell Archippus, "Take heed to the ministry which you have received." (Co. 4:17)
"and to the church in your house". He invites the whole household, and slaves.
Then he mentions Archippus our fellow soldier, who was so powerful at Colossae that all Christians were under his protection. That is why he brings in the whole Church there, of which he was the bishop, writing in Colossians 4:17, ‘And say to Archippus: “Look to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you fulfil it.”’ And he calls Archippus ‘fellow soldier’ because all prelates are, as it were, spiritual soldiers of the Church. 2 Corinthians 10:4: ‘For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal...’ And to the church... He adds this in order to move him to hear plainly the expected good that is set forth, as was customary.
[AD 384] Ambrosiaster on Philemon 1:2