No procedure is so apt to gain a hearing, as not to ask for everything at once. For see after how many praises, after how much preparation he has introduced this great matter. After having said that he is "my son," that he is a partaker of the Gospel, that he is "my bowels," that you receive him back "as a brother," and "hold him as a brother," then he has added "as myself." And Paul was not ashamed to do this. For he who was not ashamed to be called the servant of the faithful, but confesses that he was such, much more would he not refuse this. But what he says is to this effect. If you are of the same mind with me, if you run upon the same terms, if you consider me a friend, receive him as myself.
"If he has wronged you at all." See where and when he has introduced the mention of the injury; last, after having said so many things in his behalf. For since the loss of money is particularly apt to annoy men, that he might not accuse him of this, (for it was most likely that it was spent,) then he brings in this, and says, "If he has wronged you." He does not say, If he has stolen anything; but what? "If he has wronged you." At the same time he both confessed the offense, and not as if it were the offense of a servant, but of a friend against a friend, making use of the expression of "wrong" rather than of theft.
"Put that to mine account," he says, that is, reckon the debt to me, "I will repay it." Then also with that spiritual pleasantry,
"I Paul write it with my own hand." At once movingly and pleasantly; if when Paul did not refuse to execute a bond for him, he should refuse to receive him! This would both shame Philemon into compliance, and bring Onesimus out of trouble. "I write it," he says, "with my own hand." Nothing is more affectionate than these "bowels," nothing more earnest, nothing more zealous. See what great concern he bestows in behalf of one man. "Albeit I do not say to you how you owe unto me even your own self besides." Then that it might not appear insulting to him, whom he requests, if he had not the confidence to ask and obtain in behalf of a theft, he in some measure relieves this, saying, "That I say not unto you how you owe to me even your own self besides." Not only your own things, but yourself also. And this proceeded from love, and was according to the rule of friendship, and was a proof of his great confidence. See how he everywhere provides for both, that he may ask with great security, and that this may not seem a sign of too little confidence in him.
Paul now removes the excuse for anger, just in case it turned out that he had been so hurt by Onesimus that he would find it impossible to forgive him.
But if anyone has wronged you, or owes you anything, charge that to me. As an imitator of his master, and having Christ speaking in him, he ought to do the things which Christ did according to his ability. For if he bore our weaknesses and suffered our wounds, the Apostle rightly opposes himself on behalf of Onesimus and promises what he owed. But as we have said above, all that which was taken away by theft and lost through luxury could not be made right, which Philemon valued greatly while he received his runaway slave, lost money and eternal brother, thus making himself a debtor to the Apostle through him.
Second, he offers to make good any injury to Philemon, saying, And if he did you any injury or owes you anything, namely by leaving his service, charge it to me. As if to say, I will make satisfaction. Galatians 6.2.: ‘Bear one another’s burdens.’ And more, because he first offers to make it good; second, he shows that Philemon is in his debt, not of necessity but of will.
[AD 407] John Chrysostom on Philemon 1:17-19
"If he has wronged you at all." See where and when he has introduced the mention of the injury; last, after having said so many things in his behalf. For since the loss of money is particularly apt to annoy men, that he might not accuse him of this, (for it was most likely that it was spent,) then he brings in this, and says, "If he has wronged you." He does not say, If he has stolen anything; but what? "If he has wronged you." At the same time he both confessed the offense, and not as if it were the offense of a servant, but of a friend against a friend, making use of the expression of "wrong" rather than of theft.
"Put that to mine account," he says, that is, reckon the debt to me, "I will repay it." Then also with that spiritual pleasantry,
"I Paul write it with my own hand." At once movingly and pleasantly; if when Paul did not refuse to execute a bond for him, he should refuse to receive him! This would both shame Philemon into compliance, and bring Onesimus out of trouble. "I write it," he says, "with my own hand." Nothing is more affectionate than these "bowels," nothing more earnest, nothing more zealous. See what great concern he bestows in behalf of one man. "Albeit I do not say to you how you owe unto me even your own self besides." Then that it might not appear insulting to him, whom he requests, if he had not the confidence to ask and obtain in behalf of a theft, he in some measure relieves this, saying, "That I say not unto you how you owe to me even your own self besides." Not only your own things, but yourself also. And this proceeded from love, and was according to the rule of friendship, and was a proof of his great confidence. See how he everywhere provides for both, that he may ask with great security, and that this may not seem a sign of too little confidence in him.