(t. xxxii. 12.) They remembered too, that, as men, before they were matured, their minds were liable to change, so as to form wishes the very opposite to what they might have had before.
The phrase about the disciples, "doubting of whom he spoke," is vivid. For they were unable to conceive of whom this had been said and were in doubt about it, and they found nothing clear either to think or say.
(Hom. lxii. 1) Our Lord after His twofold promise of assistance to the Apostles in their future labours, remembers that the traitor is cut off from both, and is troubled at the thought: When Jesus had thus said, He was troubled in spirit, and testified, and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray Me.
(Hom. lxxii. 1) As He did not mention Him by name, all began to fear: Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom He spake; not conscious of any evil in themselves, and yet trusting to Christ's words, more than to their own thoughts.
While all were trembling, and not excepting even Peter, their head, John, as the beloved disciple, lay upon Jesus' breast. He then lying on Jesus' breast saith unto Him, Lord, who is it?
(Hom. lxxii. 1) If thou want to know the cause of this familiarity, it is love: Whom Jesus loved. Others were loved, but he was loved more than any.
(Hom. lxxii. 1) Whom Jesus loved. This John says to show his own innocence, and also why it was that Peter beckoned to him, inasmuch as he was not Peter's superior: Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake. Peter had been just reproved, and therefore, checking the customary vehemence of his love, he did not speak himself now, but made John speak for him. He always appears in Scripture as zealous, and an intimate friend of John's.
"When Jesus had thus said, He was troubled in spirit, and testified, and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray Me."
Again He bringeth fear on all by not mentioning the traitor by name. "But they are in doubt"; although conscious to themselves of nothing evil; but they deemed the declaration of Christ more to be believed than their own thoughts. Wherefore they "looked one on another." By laying the whole upon one, Jesus would have cut short their fear, but by adding, "one of you," He troubled all. What then? The rest looked upon one another; but the ever fervent Peter "beckoneth" to John. Since he had been before rebuked, and when Christ desired to wash him would have hindered Him, and since he is everywhere found moved indeed by love, yet blamed; being on this account afraid, he neither kept quiet, nor did he speak, but wished to gain information by means of John. But it is a question worth asking, why when all were distressed, and trembling, when their leader was afraid, John like one at ease leans on Jesus' bosom, and not only leans, but even lies on His breast? Nor is this the only thing worthy of enquiry, but that also which follows. What is that? What he saith of himself, "Whom Jesus loved." Why did no one else say this of himself? Yet the others were loved too. But he more than any. And if no other hath said this about him, but he about himself, it is nothing wonderful. Paul too does the same when occasion calls, saying thus, "I knew a man fourteen years ago"; yet in fact he has gone through other no trifling praises of himself.
"Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom He spake." For while they were imbued with a reverential love to their Master, they were none the less affected by human infirmity in their feelings towards each other. Each one's own conscience was known to himself; but as he was ignorant of his neighbor's, each one's self-assurance was such that each was uncertain of all the others, and all the others were uncertain of that one.
Terror and dread at once thrill the hearts of the disciples, and they glance one at another, being filled with a twofold alarm at the words uttered. For each one, as was natural, on reviewing the state of his own individual soul, was weighed down with grievous fear; and furthermore, they all felt the agony, no less severe, which was produced by the suspicion that rested on them all in common. For they are well assured that the words spoken will be fully verified. They know that the saying of the Saviour could not pass away unfulfilled; and yet they reckon it as a terrible and unbearable misery that any one of those numbered among the disciples should have relapsed into such a depth of impiety. This leads them each one to examine his own conscience, and to look around him in bewildered inquiry as to who it is to whose share the lot of perdition is to fall, wondering much whence or how Satan will obtain such power as to steal away the allegiance of one even of Christ's own peculiar companions.
Each of them was conscious of being pure, finding no cunning in his own thoughts; but he regarded the word of the Lord as more trustworthy than his own thoughts. Therefore they all grieve and are perplexed. For the announcement was made by Him Who does not lie, and they were certain that it would inevitably come to pass.
[AD 253] Origen of Alexandria on John 13:22