“If I am ungodly, why have I not died?” You see how he does not deny being a sinner. “Why have I not died?” he says. This is not the expression of a man who accuses but who searches. I do not know at all, he says, God’s plans. “For if I should wash myself with snow and purge myself with pure hands [that would be useless]. You have thoroughly plunged me in filth, and my garment has abhorred me.” He means, before everybody’s eyes I am an example of impiety. It would be necessary that the wicked disappeared, so that I might not play the role of master for the others anymore. If I become purer than the sun, I still retain filthiness, and not an ordinary filthiness. “My garment has abhorred me.” What can I say about people, if even my garment despises me? This is what he more or less means. Even my closest relations have begun to hate me. They have turned away from me not because I am condemned but because they think I am cursed and impure.
5. For if we be examined pity set aside, our work which we look to have recompensed with a reward is deserving of punishment. ‘Therefore the holy man shrinking under secret judgment, says, But if even so I be wicked, why, then, have I laboured in vain? Not that he repents of having laboured, but that it grieves him even amidst labours to be in uncertainty about the reward. But we must bear in mind that the Saints so doubt that they trust, and so trust that notwithstanding they do not slumber in security. Therefore because it is very often the case that the mind, even when bent upon right courses, is full of fears, it follows that after the good deed is done, deprecating tears be had recourse to, in order that the humility of entreaty may bear up the deserts of right practice to eternal rewards. But yet we must bear in mind that neither our life nor our tears have power to make us perfectly clean, so long as the mortal condition of our state of corruption holds us fast bound.
[AD 407] John Chrysostom on Job 9:29-31