Colossians 3:19

See how again he has exhorted to reciprocity. As in the other case he enjoineth fear and love, so also doth he here. For it is possible for one who loves even, to be bitter. What he saith then is this. Fight not; for nothing is more bitter than this fighting, when it takes place on the part of the husband toward the wife. For the fightings which happen between beloved persons, these are bitter; and he shows that it ariseth from great bitterness, when, saith he, any one is at variance with his own member. To love therefore is the husband's part, to yield pertains to the other side. If then each one contributes his own part, all stands firm. From being loved, the wife too becomes loving; and from her being submissive, the husband becomes yielding. And see how in nature also it hath been so ordered, that the one should love, the other obey. For when the party governing loves the governed, then everything stands fast. Love from the governed is not so requisite, as from the governing towards the governed; for from the other obedience is due. For that the woman hath beauty, and the man desire, shows nothing else than that for the sake of love it hath been made so. Do not therefore, because thy wife is subject to thee, act the despot; nor because thy husband loveth thee, be thou puffed up. Let neither the husband's love elate the wife, nor the wife's subjection puff up the husband. For this cause hath He subjected her to thee, that she may be loved the more. For this cause He hath made thee to be loved, O wife, that thou mayest easily bear thy subjection. Fear not in being a subject; for subjection to one that loveth thee hath no hardship. Fear not in loving, for thou hast her yielding. In no other way then could a bond have been. Thou hast then thine authority of necessity, proceeding from nature; maintain also the bond that proceedeth from love, for this alloweth the weaker to be endurable.

God forbid that a man who possesses faith should, when he hears the apostle bid men “love their wives,” love that disordered sexual desire in his wife which he ought not to love even in himself. He may know this if he listens to the words of another apostle: “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world.” .

See how he impresses upon each sex what is proper to it: upon wives — submission, upon husbands — love. For love is not so much required from the subordinate toward the superior as from the superior toward the subordinate. The wife, because she is loved, herself reciprocates with love in return. But when she submits to her husband, she renders him what is due. However, since it happens that even with love a person becomes embittered (and enmity with loved ones is especially bitter), therefore he also says: "do not be harsh toward them." For in reality it is from great bitterness that one rises up against his own member.

Then, he instructs husbands to love their wives, husbands, love your wives; because this is natural, since a husband and wife are in a certain sense one: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church" (Eph 5:25). He forbids them to be bitter: "She who is bitter becomes weak in doing good" (Mic 1:12), "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice" (Eph 4:31).

I do not believe that God created an egalitarian world. I believe the authority of parent over child, husband over wife, learned over simple, to have been as much a part of the original plan as the authority of man over beast. I believe that if we had not fallen Filmer would be right, and patriarchal monarchy would be the sole lawful government. But since we have learned sin, we have found, as Lord Acton says, that "all power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely". The only remedy has been to take away the powers and substitute a legal fiction of equality. The authority of Father and Husband has been rightly abolished on the legal plane, not because this authority is in itself bad (on the contrary, it is, I hold, divine in origin) but because Fathers and Husbands are bad.